女权主义者的性欲观(读书笔记:杰茜卡瓦伦蒂:《正面全裸的女权主义》卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)笔者直接感觉,女权主义者都以些身穿男性西装剪着相恋的人发型叼着烟卷不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。现在才知道过来,原本女权主义者也许有七情六欲的!不独有如此,她们的欲望比平常女人更加直白,更加强势,更自私。瓦伦蒂用了任何一个章节来阐释女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更加长于干那事(以致别的关于性的晋升卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTE卡宴 (AND OTHEMurano SEX
TIPS)》。她直抒己见就自个儿炫酷“笔者在床的面上比你行,而那得归功于女权主义。”(I’m
better in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for
it.)今世男权社会对女生有大器晚成种自相恨恶的双重规范:一方面,女生在青天白日选拔“守贞教育”,早上则在电视机上看出“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被带领说婚前性行为是非正常的,另一面又报告您,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你飞速对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the
camera.)守贞教育家是如此来教育女子的:“你们的肌体正是黄金年代根棒棒糖。当你们与女婿爆发性关系时,他剥去你的伪装,含吮起来。那个时候恐怕感到不错,可可惜的是,他与您完事后,你们留给下壹人伴侣的正是衣冠不整,口水臭味的流毒。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.
“)够耸人据说的。可是女权主义者不吃那大器晚成套。瓦伦蒂建议的口号是:“作者的处女膜笔者做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves
)”她说:“小编并未有闹驾驭处女贞操有啥样大不断,真的。小编的贞操在中学时期就被一名男盆友没怎么费事就夺去了。大家后来还约会了某个年吗。作者还以为会有哪些特殊的痛感吧,未有。我总感觉这种把处女贞操当成绝世佳人一次事很愚拙。所以您能够想像,当本人开采自个儿原本是被用过即弃的懦夫时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash without
it.)作者比较纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是不屑黄金时代顾男士的。然则在拍卖本身的情欲时,她们对相公的姿态显明又是另风流罗曼蒂克番风光。诚然,她们与男生上床,再亦不是为了阿其所好娃他爹,更不是为了传宗接代,而纯粹是为着和睦的欢腾。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,就是:生机勃勃边做女权主义者,风流罗曼蒂克边做爱!(f***ing
while feminist
!)只是,直面壹人性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪一人小男子消受得起?

图片 1

图片 2

自个儿间接认为,女权主义者都是些身穿男人西装剪着爱人发型叼着烟卷不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。

(部分翻译仅凭个人以为,不完全依照原著翻译卡塔尔

现在才驾驭过来,原本女权主义者也有七情六欲的!不止如此,她们的私欲比管见所及女子更直接,更加强势,更自私。

As I look back on my experiences, it’s interesting to reflect on how my
perspectives have changed.

瓦伦蒂用了整个三个章节来阐释女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更擅长干那事(以至任何关于性的唤起卡塔尔国FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTE中华V (AND OTHE瑞虎 SEX TIPS)》。

When I started out, each and every twist and turn I encountered,
whether in the markets or in my life in general, looked really big and
dramatic up close, like unique life-or-death experiences that were
coming at me fast.

他快人快语就作者炫彩“笔者在床的上面比你行,而那得归功于女权主义。”(I’m better
in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for it.)

(刚最初的时候,以为市集和生存中的蒙受的挫败与主题素材,极其了不起,像非常的危险的经验卡塔尔国

现代男权社会对妇女有大器晚成种相互恶感的双重规范:一方面,女生在青霄白日肩负“守贞教育”,深夜则在TV上阅览“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被引导说婚前性行为是异形的,其他方面又告诉你,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你快捷对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the camera.)

With time and experience, I came to see each encounter as “another one
of those” that I could approach more calmly and analytically, like a
biologist might approach an encounter with a threatening creature in the
jungle: first identifying its species and then, drawing on his prior
knowledge about its expected behaviors, reacting appropriately.

守贞史学家是这么来教育女子的:“你们的躯体便是风流浪漫根棒棒糖。当你们与先生产生性关系时,他剥去你的假相,含吮起来。那时说不准以为到对的,可缺憾的是,他与你完事后,你们留给下一人伴侣的正是衣冠不整,口水臭味的沉渣。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker. “)

(随着年华和经历的拉长,碰着新主题材料更加冷静管理卡塔尔

够耸人听别人讲的。不过女权主义者不吃那黄金年代套。瓦伦蒂提议的口号是:“小编的处女膜小编做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves )

就像biologist, 首先识别难题,寻找先验知识,然后利用方便的行走。**

”她说:“笔者并未闹精通处女贞操有哪些大不断,真的。笔者的贞节在中学时期就被一名男票没怎么费力就夺去了。大家后来还约会了一点年呢。小编还以为会有怎样至极的感觉吧,未有。作者总感到这种把处女贞操当成绝世佳人叁次事很鲁钝。所以你能够虚构,当自家开掘自个儿原本是被用过即弃的废品(或棒棒糖卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash (or candy) without it.)

When I was faced with types of situations I had encountered before, I
drew on the principles I had learned for dealing with them. 

本人比较纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是鄙夷汉子的。然而在管理本身的性欲时,她们对先生的态度明朗又是另生机勃勃番景象。诚然,她们与情人上床,再亦不是为了通情达理孩他爹,更不是为着薪火相传,而纯粹是为了自个儿的欢跃。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,便是:生机勃勃边做女权主义者,豆蔻梢头边做爱!(Fucking
while feminist !)

(早前遭逢的题目,使用已经学到的尺度卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)

只是,直面一人性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪一人小男士消受得起?

But when I ran into ones I hadn’t seen before, I would be painfully
surprised. Studying all those painful first-time encounters, I learned
that even if they hadn’t happened to me, most of them had happened to
other people in other times and places, which gave me a healthy respect
for history, a hunger to have a universal understanding of how reality
works, and the desire to build timeless and universal principles for
dealing with it.

(对于早先没遇到的新主题素材,不会以为难过。因为发现,尽管那么些难题,以前小编没遇见过,别的人也会遇见过。所以作者特别爱护历史,渴望精晓具体到底是怎么运维的,并渴望创建稳固和周边的准则来管理它。卡塔尔(简单来说:认识现实的面目,并树立
广泛的条件去管理它, 分布可能可以领略为 合适的 正确的 卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎

Watching the same things happen again and again, I began to see
reality as a gorgeous perpetual motion machine, in which causes become
effects that become causes of new effects, and so on.

(瞧着同大器晚成的事务一回又一回地产生,笔者起来把现实看成是叁个美不勝收的永动机,当中的开始和结果成为了震慑成为新职能的因素,等等。大概是
a发生b,b又发出了c卡塔尔

I realized that reality was, if not perfect, at least what we are given
to deal with, so that any problems or frustrations I had with it were
more productively directed to dealing with them effectively than
complaining about them. I came to understand that my encounters were
tests of my character and creativity. Over time, I came to appreciate
what a tiny and short-lived part of that remarkable system I am, and how
it’s both good for me and good for the system for me to know how to
interact with it well.

In gaining this perspective, I began to experience painful moments in a
radically different way. Instead of feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I
saw pain as nature’s reminder that there is something important for me
to learn. Encountering pains and figuring out the lessons they were
trying to give me became sort of a game to me.

The more I played it, the better I got at it, the less painful those
situations became, and the more rewarding the process of reflecting,
developing principles, and then getting rewards for using those
principles became.I learned to love my struggles, which I suppose is a
healthy perspective to have, like learning to love exercising (which I
haven’t managed to do yet).

In my early years, I looked up to extraordinarily successful people,
thinking that they were successful because they were extraordinary.
After I got to know such people personally, I realized that all of
them—like me, like everyone—make mistakes, struggle with their
weaknesses, and don’t feel that they are particularly special or great.
They are no happier than the rest of us, and they struggle just as much
or more than average folks. Even after they surpass their wildest
dreams, they still experience more struggle than glory. This has
certainly been true for me.

While I surpassed my wildest dreams decades ago, I am still struggling
today.In time, I realized that the satisfaction of success doesn’t come
from achieving your goals, but from struggling well.To understand what I
mean, imagine your greatest goal, whatever it is—making a ton of money,
winning an Academy Award, running a great organization, being great at a
sport. Now imagine instantaneously achieving it.

图片 3

You’d be happy at first, but not for long. You would soon find yourself
needing something else to struggle for. Just look at people who attain
their dreams early— the child star, the lottery winner, the professional
athlete who peaks early. They typically don’t end up happy unless they
get excited about something else bigger and better to struggle
for. Since life brings both ups and downs, struggling well doesn’t just
make your ups better; it makes your downs less bad.

I’m still strugglingand I will until I die, because even if I try to
avoid the struggles, they will find me.

Thanks to all that struggling and learning, I have done everything I
wanted to do,
gone everywhere I wanted to go, met whomever I wanted to
meet, gotten everything I wanted to own, had a career that has been
enthralling, and, most rewardingly, had many wonderful relationships.I
have experienced the full range, from having nothing to having an
enormous amount, and from being a nobody to being a somebody, so I know
the differences.
While I experienced them going from the bottom up
rather than from the top down (which was preferable and probably
influenced my perspective), my assessment is that the incremental
benefits of having a lot and being on top are not nearly as great as
most people think.

Having the basics—a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good
food, and good sex—is most important, and those things don’t get much
better when you have a lot ofmoney or much worse when you have less.

And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special
than those one meets at the bottom or in between.

The marginal benefits of having more fall off pretty quickly. In fact,
having a lot more is worse than having a moderate amount more because it
comes with heavy burdens. Being on top gives you a wider range of
options, but it also requires more of you. Being well-known is probably
worse than being anonymous, all things considered. And while the
beneficial impact one can have on others is great, when you put it in
perspective, it is still infinitesimally small. For all those reasons, I
cannot say that having an intense life filled with accomplishments is
better than having a relaxed life filled with savoring, though I can say
that being strong is better than being weak, and that struggling gives
one strength.

My nature being what it is, I would not have changed my life, but I
can’t tell you what is best for you. That is for you to choose. What I
have seen is that the happiest people discover their own nature and
match their life to it.

Now that my desire to succeed has given way to a desire to help others
succeed, that’s become my current struggle. It’s now clear to me that my
purpose, your purpose, and the purpose of everything else is to evolve
and to contribute to evolution in some small way.I didn’t think about
that at the start; I just went after the things I wanted. But along the
way I evolved, and now I am sharing these principles with you to help
you evolve too.I realized that passing on knowledge is like passing on
DNA—it is more important than the individual, because it lives way
beyond the individual’s life. This is my attempt to help you succeed by
passing along to you what I learned about how to struggle well—or, at
the very least, to help you get the most out of each unit of effort you
put in.

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